Etc.
Friday, October 19, 2007
  Ryan
I don't write too much about my overwhelming love and adoration for Ryan. We leave that for the bedroom. But, since Ryan and I have entered into a long-distance relationship, where the only time we can talk occurs after he gets off a 17-hour shift at, um, 1-2am his time, which is 4-5am my time, I feel a need to express my feelings to this small world of 5 readers. I'll leave the content of our rather suggestive conversations to your imaginations, but, Ryan is simply awesome. For working 17 hour shifts. Not complaining. Doing his best. Being Ryan. And, at the end of his long day, still talking to me and listening to me talk his ear off and blah blah blah. So, give Ryan some props for surviving his internship and me.
 
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
  Second Best
I've been teaching, for 10 weeks now. It is heaven and hell, switching between the two at least 40 times over an 8 hour period. I can't explain it much better than that. I've cried in front of a math class because one student said something outrageously funny, which made me have to sit down and compose myself. I've had a bookbag and chair thrown at me with the grand finale of a SLAP. Heaven and hell. Regardless of work being so fickle, I never understand how Friday comes so quickly, or how the day can't just contain one more hour to teach everything that I intended to teach. For me, time is in the fast lane. Lately, this has caused me to fantasize on my way to and fro school (my roundtrip commute is 1hr 20min).

I remember, not so long ago, but too long at this point, I had a plan to see the world, to experience its people, to have simple routines, to write, to have time to appropriate the best words to explain the unexplainable. I've always been interested in Latin America and SE Asia, and, as I drive the same path everyday, come home to the same abode, know where I'm going to sleep, eat, that I'll have access to virtually anything I want, I find myself wanting simple chaos.

Simple chaos? you may wonder... It's a method of travel where you place yourself in uncomfortable, adventurous situations (which inevitably bring chaos) where the only things you have to do are, find shelter and food (ah, the simplicity). When these are the only two things required of your time and energy, you are freed up to notice people, to cultivate distance friends. I won't go on much more about this, except for the fact that, I've come to realize that I'm doing second best. I love teaching, in a strange kinda way, but, what I love most is momentum, juxtapositions that only different cultures bring, and understanding what else is out there. Thinking about the fact that I'm thinking about, "Hey, why not save up for the next 9 months, quit my job, and travel for a year," makes me so dreamy and feel so out of place where I am right now.

Anyone up for an adventure?

CONCLUSION: Yet to be revealed...
 

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